Pirates of the Caribbean. Top nonsense.

Treasure? Arrr! Ghost ships? Arrr! Ancient curse? Arrr! Pirates bound by a loosely-applied Code? Arrr! Suspenseful will-he-won’t-he honourable rogue plot device? Arrr! Prissy British naval officers? Arrr! Ravishing Governors’ daughter? Arrr! Den of debauchery where everyone except our heroes appears to be brawling, drinking, carousing, or all three at once? Arrr! Classically-trained actors hamming it up something chronic, because it’s funny, dammit? Arrr! Ravishing Governor’s daughter turns out to be swashbucklingly resourceful? Arrr! Shadow of Richard E. Grant looming over every performance? (OK, so Depp claims it’s Keith Richards – looks a lot like Withnail to me, mate) Arrr, anyway! Ship’s monkey? Arrr! Romping Gladiator-pastiche soundtrack? Arrr! Incomprehensible ending leaving a big gaping hole open for a (probably rubbish) sequel? Arrr!

See, the thing is, by the time we got to the incomprehensible ending I just didn’t care any more. I was away, I tell you. Gloriously silly film – I loved it.

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