The last time I was in Glasgow, my combi boiler declined my polite requests to fire up and vent forth hot water, radiators for the supply of, leaving me in a situation of considerable chill. Now, in Dublin, my landlord/housemate and I find ourselves incapable of securing a supply of small wooden pellets.
Said pellets are something of a technological marvel, being formed from compressed waste sawdust, bagged, and (hypothetically) delivered to the likes of us. Thenceforth, they are poured liberally into a hopper which in turn feeds – via a terribly exciting Archimidean-screw arrangement – a surprisingly efficient burner/boiler system. Too liberally, it transpires, for we’ve run out of bags of pellets. Since the technology is (a.) relatively new, and (b.) Austrian, we’ve found ourselves unable to source additional supplies. For a week.
Upshot: it’s fecking cold in the house. We’re not quite at ambient temperature, but thanks to all the not-quite-fixed-yet draughts it’s surprisingly close. On Monday I came home and immediately stuck my hand in the fridge, just to see whether there was any point leaving it switched on. It was hard to tell.
The existential joy of the pellet boiler system is that, since the pellets are formed from waste, burning them is considered carbon-neutral. Hurrah. However, since we can’t track down any pellets to burn, we’re left to celebrate to the sound of one hand clapping.