Anyone who struggled through my recent rant about the Mercedes garage in central Glasgow probably knows what’s coming when I say: I went in to collect the car today.

It goes back in on Thursday.

This time the right tyres were on the correct wheels, without the optional extras of nails and screws. However, they’d also replaced the burnt-out 12V socket as a warranty job. It still doesn’t work, of course, and indeed wasn’t actually fixed to the centre console. Not fixed to the extent that when I tried to plug in the air compressor to test it, the socket disappeared down the back of the dash. In fact, the entire centre console is now wobbly, with several bits falling off and out. A Merc technician – the last guy in the service area, and hence the poor sap who had to try to effect a fix on the spot – declared it ‘a right pig’s ear,’ which is an equally accurate but somewhat more polite description than my own.

I’ve requested a full written record of all work done to the car this year, with dates and parts details (third request for same, incidentally). There will be letters. Meanwhile: top Google hit for ‘Smart Roadster Glasgow.’

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