Today, I traipsed merrily around Dublin buying clothes. I’d planned to have a big shop in Glasgow last weekend, but ran out of time. This didn’t worry me overmuch, since it had always seemed a bit pointless to buy clothes in the UK only to move them to Ireland the following day. In the end, however, I accidentally failed to pack a whole tranche of clothing. Oops.

Amongst the day’s purchases, a pair of shoes. They’re terribly funky, bearing as a design feature asymmetric elastic laces for which I had to ask operating instructions (conclusion: they’re slip-ons. The laces are just a bit of fancy). Dangling happily from the eyelets, a stylish bundle of swing-tags, one of which reads:

Contact earth: a system which allows the electrostatic energy accumulated throughout the day to discharge and at the same time allows you to be in contact with the earth energies.

Rrrrright. So… the soles are made of some conductive carbon compound, then? Okaaaay. And ‘earth energies’, what would they be, hmm?


The shoes are Campers, should you wish either to increase your contact with earth energies, or avoid contact with utter twaddle.