Ten Things Which Should Never Be Plural

  1. Tax Demand.
  2. Server Outage.
  3. Backup Failure.
  4. Reached End of Moleskine Notebook.
  5. Dirty Lenscloth.
  6. Smacked Self in Face With Juggling Club.
  7. Royal Mail Special Delivery Failure.
  8. Accidental Television Series Commission.
  9. Surplus-to-Requirements iPod.
  10. Returning Home to Find Burglary in Progress.
    (For the avoidance of doubt: one of these is hypothetical, and another turned out to be somebody else’s. The rest happened, mostly but not necessarily recently.)


  1. Accidental snake discovery didn’t make it to the top ten?
    Oh, hang on, that only happened once didn’t it.

  2. Exactly.
    I’m also not sure this is a ‘top ten’ so much as a ‘fairly recent 9.’ For an all-time personal greats list, ‘being run over by a bicycle’ should be included.

  3. Nearly (running over/being run over) by a famous physicist in his wheelchair?

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