I have to submit a register of electors return thing in the next few days, but there’s a problem: I’m probably traveling for most of October. So on the face of it I should apply for a postal vote, but there’s a risk that could backfire dramatically.

If there’s an election on November 1st there’s a chance I’ll be back in Glasgow in time to take a wander to the local polling station. And you know, I adore that whole edifice – the humble procession of the people to make their mark, the process overseen by dedicated grannies. Glasgow have updated all their signage, which sadly takes the edge off the war-era serifs used elsewhere, but it’s still a sombre and magnificent day as the hidden machinery that quite literally is democracy wheels smoothly into action.

With a postal vote I’d miss all that, which would be a shame. But I might not be back by the first anyway, and if it’s October 25th I certainly won’t be around. So: postal vote it is, right?

Well, no. See, chances are I won’t be around to pick up the posted ballot papers, either.

So, Gordon, look – do me a favour, make a decision, and announce that you’re going to wave off until next Spring at the earliest. Thanks, guv.